Saturday, 9 October 2021

Confiscating a teen’s smartphone


Confiscating a teen’s smartphone isn’t the same as turning off the television or banning videogames. It’s not the same as barring them from using the telephone or “grounding” them so they can’t meet their friends at the mall... Taking away a kid’s phone is taking away all those things at once and more... 

Spaces like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, are among the few places where teens are able to kick back and express themselves, connect to their peers, and develop their identity without adult oversight... “When you remove a teen’s lifeline to their friends, there will be a major emotional backlash, a breakdown of the parent-child relationship.”... 

“If your child violates curfew, taking away the phone is completely unrelated to that behavior,”... “You’re not connecting with the kid... You are making him feel bad, which you think is helping him learn, but in fact is helping him learn to be sneaky or learn that you are the punisher.”... That going for the lesson, instead of the punishment, is more effective with teens. “We have to connect with your kids before you correct them,"... If you catch your teen posting something inappropriate, then your first step should be asking your teen about the behavior, letting him explain his thinking...




Given that learning to use your own judgment is a big part of growing up, it’s important for parents to realize that regulating their own phone behavior is something kids need to learn, too, sometimes by trial and error...  “The goal here is to teach kids how to manage their own relationship to technology,” “knowing that technology is the conduit to their entire life.”... 

Social media networks provide a way for kids to interact with each other that’s not organized and supervised by authorities, as school... 

Families can set dinner aside as a time when everyone puts down their phones and checks in with each other... For families who are on the go, car rides are another good time to unplug and have a conversation... 


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