Don’t Take It Personally... We were all their once.

Tweens and teens are experts and knowing exactly how to use words as weapons...

They understand how to inflict the most damage with even the simplest things they say... As their parents/teachers, we become almost daily targets in their ongoing battle of them against the world... Wow, can it be painful, but we need to realize it isn’t personal... The tween and teen years are filled with turmoil... 

Hormones are raging, bodies are changing in sometimes confusing and uncomfortable ways, and their brains aren’t yet fully developed to help them cope with all of this... They are also stuck in this place where adulthood is approaching and they are striving for more independence, but at the same time they are desperately seeking the approval of everyone in their life from parents to peers...

We were all their once. 

Try to think back to what it was like during this time for you...  You surely said some things, or maybe lots of things, to your parents / teachers that you regret. But as long as you came from a fairly healthy home, you and your parents survived and probably have a good relationship these days... For the most part, the surely demeanor of our tweens and teens is a simple defense mechanism...  They’re scared and unsure and often this is when our kids lash out the most... This was true even when they were younger... They are testing us, looking for reassurance that we will love them, no matter what... So, even at their ugliest, we need to meet them where they are with love...